Rav Kook's Journals

Rav Kook kept private journals throughout his life, recording his mystical experiences, philosophical reflections, and spiritual struggles. These journals, known as the Shemonah Kevatzim (Eight Notebooks), were not intended for publication during his lifetime. They offer an unguarded window into the inner world of one of the twentieth century's greatest Jewish thinkers.

From My Inner Chambers

From Within Myself

From within myself, from my wellsprings, I must always take the hidden treasures. I am always connected to a holy suffering that results from my search for supernal perfection. That search is never fulfilled. Indeed, it has no need to be fulfilled. This is the nature of such ever-lasting yearning: its foundation is divine thirst. Nothing in the world can slake that thirst except that which it seeks: the on-going revelation and ever-growing experience of the thirst itself. That itself is transformed into the source of all pleasure, into the platform for all spiritual delights, into the radiance of the Almighty.

I Must Speak of Myself

I must speak of myself a great deal. Matters of my essential being must become extremely clear to me. When I understand myself, I will understand everything—the world and life—until my understanding will reach the Source of life.

I Constantly Seek

I constantly seek that which is in the midst of my soul. Outer servitude distracts my mind from that inner search, bringing me to seek in vain at the far-flung corners of the earth for that which has not been found in the depths of my spirit.

How Can I Speak to Others?

How can I have anything to say to others if I say nothing to my own spirit? How can I express an opinion about the spiritual and physical world without first seeking a key to the treasures gathered within me? "Gates, swing open," I shall say to the chambers of my spirit, to my heart and to my "kidneys," my source of counsel.

In The Depths Of The Spirit Itself

My spirit yearns to burrow into its inner chambers. I struggle to draw matters forth from the light of the Torah and from the light of the world. But I find that all the roots of these pure objects that I seek must be found in the depths of my own spirit, whose light is taken from the light of the Torah and from the radiance of the world. If I return from the midst of Torah and from the midst of the world to my spirit, I increase my life-force when I then re-enter the chambers of the Torah and the chambers of the treasuries of the world. And so every bright revelation is divided into three: that of the spirit, that of the Torah and that of the world.

My Inner Gaze

I have no need to reject my inner demand to gaze at everything from the essence of my spirit. At the same time, I am summoned to strengthen myself and broaden my perspectives, expressed in spirit and in deed, in accordance with the understanding that comes from outside myself: from friendship, mingling with others, reading books and other life experiences. And afterwards, everything returns so as to be mixed into my very spirit, and I return to my inner gaze.

The Speech Of Creation

I have subjugated myself to teachings, to deeds, to relationships, to a variety of different obligations—and as a result, no thought of mine is finished and mature. Supernal illuminations fall away like blossoms that drop after having appeared, before their time to ripen has arrived, because of a storm wind. And so the time has come to break the chains that my own hands placed upon all the limbs of my soul, upon all the parts of my spirit. I have no obligation to focus on obstacles outside myself. Salvation is firmly placed within me, within my heart. The wellspring of tranquility pours forth and flows unceasingly. The kindness of Hashem fills the world. All that I have to do is to attend to that autonomous awareness, to listen to the secret of the speech of creation in its inner chambers. I will hear, and my spirit will live.

The Crucial Point of the Inner Quest

Is it possible that I will not find what I seek, at the time that my search wells from the depths of truth? And what do I seek if not myself, my true essence—not my physical or spiritual garments, all of which are acquisitions, which come and serve the essence? If my essence, my essential being, is beyond me, how will any of these devices help? That is the crucial point of the inner quest, which requires true might so that a person may be strong as he engages in it. And that constant endeavor to find my essence is also at the root of finding the existence of the entire Jewish people and of humanity in its broad sense, and of finding all existence in its inner sense and in its breadth. And that is the gate of Hashem to finding the eternally sought: the God of the universe, the Source of all quests, for Whom every spirit yearns, and without Whom there is nothing to seek.

Thirst for the Living God

I Must Recognize The Holy Fire

I must recognize the holy fire that blazes in my heart—my yearning that burns ceaselessly within it for the living God—as a great and mighty ability. I am obligated to honor that holy illumination, which constantly appears to me and at times gains in strength, all in accordance with the amount of deed and learning and in accordance with the amount of the depth of thought, freedom of mind and health of body—and the joy of the heart that is dependent on all of these.

I Myself Do Not Know Myself

Who can know me, who knows the fervor of my heart, which burns in truth with the fire of a supernal love of God? "My spirit expires for You; my heart and my flesh sing to the living God." Who can realize that I am unable to take interest in any limited matter because of my great yearning for the eternal delight of the infinite expanses—that I am sick with love? And not only do others not know me, but I myself do not know myself. How much must I battle against myself, to keep hold of an inner faith in the greatness of my soul? And that greatness has nothing to do with deeds; it is intrinsically great, because of what it is. It is a supernal freedom, and all teachings and mitzvot only serve to make a measure of its worth clear to it.

A Passionate Yearning

My spirit yearns passionately for the supreme light, the infinite light, the light of the God of truth, the God of my life, the living God, the Life-force of all universes. This passionate yearning consumes my physical and spiritual strength. I have neither the ability nor the proper training to satisfy the totality of this great, passionate yearning. I am filled with utter self-abnegation before the Monarch of all universes, Who opens His hand and satisfies the desire of every living being. Satiate my desire. Satiate me in the light of Your manifestation, and fill my thirst for Your light.

This Great Distress

Is this great distress that I am not permitted to pronounce God's Name as it is written an empty thing? Is it not a holy fire, burning and blazing in my soul, which indicates the depth of the hidden longings within it for the light of the true God, the God of Israel? All the holy Names are general—they express a concept of divinity that anyone with intelligence in his mind and with feeling in his heart can express and yearn: to desire Him and to be connected to His being. But "who is like Your nation Israel, a unique nation upon the earth"—connected to the truth of divinity, which is revealed only in a miraculous, wondrous fashion, in a way of total truth coming from the supernal holy spirit of the "clear lens"?

I Am Filled with Love for God

I am filled with love for God. I know that what I seek, what I love, is called by no name. How can that which is greater than everything, greater than goodness, greater than quality, greater than being, be called by any name? And I love, and I say: I love God. The light of the Infinite One dwells within the expression of the Name, in the expression of the divine, and in all of the names and cognomens that the heart of a man teaches and expresses when his soul is lifted ever upwards.

My Spirit Thirsts for Hashem

My spirit thirsts for Hashem. True, at times this thirst is placed in an exile of imagination adulterated with dross. It cries out for redemption, to be raised to its proper place, to the level of pure mind with clear knowledge, until it will be a power of rectified deed that brings about salvations in the midst of the land.

How Will I Convey The Great Truth?

I am thirsty! I thirst for my God like a deer alongside the streams. Oh, who will give tongue to my hurt, who will be the harp to the songs of my moaning, who will express my bitter voice, the pain of my self-expression, broader than the broadest oceans? I am thirsty for truth. Not to attain truth—I already ride its heavens! I am entirely immersed in the truth! Rather, my entire being is filled with anguish that comes from the painful effort to express myself. How will I convey the great truth that fills my entire heart? How will I reveal to everyone, to the worlds, to created beings, to the fullness of everything, to nations and individuals, the flashes filled with treasures of light and heat that are contained within my soul?

The Pangs of the Soul

One May Not Oppose the Essential Soul

One may not oppose the essential soul when it reveals itself—and it constantly reveals itself. Even when thick clouds cover its glittering light, it shines with all its strength, carrying the world and mankind to the goal of his full happiness, which transcends any label of "goal." The soul speaks without speech, acts without action. With it, only with it, do we rise those levels, an enterprise to which the entire drive of the life of reality, with the depths of its secrets, pushes us.

The Truth Of My Character

The truth of my character is revealed in my moments of greatness. The essence of my person grows prominent only when my soul stands at its full height. My pride is the pride of Hashem. I take pride in the God of the universe, great in counsel and broad in deed, Whose greatness is infinite. The pride of the heavens girds me with greatness. I have been lowered to the earth, I am impoverished and of a lowly spirit. I bear within myself the pains of the world and all of its abasement, and the abjection of its oppressed paupers, prisoners of poverty, who have abandoned all hope, filled with the venom of bitterness in the depths of their shattered heart. I am a comrade to those bitter of spirit, I suffer with the suffering of their soul.

It Feels That Its Wings Are Broken

How great is the suffering that the soul experiences. It rises upwards and feels that its wings are broken. It cries out within itself from the intensity of its pains—woe, who will save it? "From the depths have I called out, God. Answer me with the breadth of divinity."

The Source of the Pain of My Heart

Is it possible that I shall not find the source of the pain of my heart, which shrivels because of its imprisonment in dark shackles, in chains of boundaries and constrictions? Is it possible that my help will not come from the holy, after all the sufferings of the soul that have no limit, after a burning desire, a fire that is never extinguished, which ignites all the strands of my soul in its inner being? And what are these pains of mine? Only a blazing thirst for the light of Hashem, for the light of truth, for the light of the purity of Your might and Your splendor, my Maker and Creator, Master Who brings everything into being, my Father in heaven, compassionate Father, Master of all worlds.

My Soul Desires the Breadths

My soul desires the breadths, the breadths, the breadths of God. Do not enclose me in any structure, neither physical nor spiritual. My soul soars in the breadths of heaven. The walls of the heart cannot contain her, nor the containers of deed, ethics, logic and etiquette. My soul soars beyond all these and flies upward, beyond anything that can be given a label, higher than any pleasure, higher than any pleasantness and loveliness, higher than anything uplifted and rarefied. "I am sick with love."

Awaken, My Spirit

Awaken, my spirit, awaken to your divine greatness. Do not be self-effacing. Do not humble yourself before those who are raucously proud, those who cannot understand the path of your spirit, the refinement of your soul in regard to its visionary purity, and in regard to its supernal longing for the refined state of loftiness, the divine eminence, and for straightness, truth, and acclaimed purity. Know your worth and arise.

Flash After Lightning Flash

Flash after lightning flash illuminates my soul. Flame after flame sets my soul aflame. The entire world may see and be astonished, may look and wonder, and awaken as from sleep to turmoil from my light. A new light will shine on Zion. Those who are now distant will come and speak truth. "From Zion, which is entirely beautiful, will God appear."

Yearning to Speak a Word

Broadening Thought

We must broaden thought a great deal: in length, in breadth, in depth, in height, in how it spreads and in size—so that it will penetrate deeply, in detail, in an individual way and in detail, in seeking and in miniature, to the very thinnest of threads. And we travel from the great to the tiny and from the tiny to the great; from the particular to the general and from the general to the particular, and then again. We soar from the highest emanation, from the ideal, to the corporeal, to the physical, to the realm of action, and we return and rise from the realm of deed to the highest emanation, to the ideal. And we are involved constantly with movement filled with life, moving outward and inward, rising and descending. And thus we live an ecstatic life, a holy life, in the glory of the name of Hashem.

The Spiritual Muteness

We feel the spiritual muteness. Woe, how much do we need to speak, how great is the measure of the light of justice and wisdom with which we are illuminated in the depth of our soul? But how shall we reveal this, how shall we explain, how shall we express it, how shall we make evident the tiniest part of this supernal radiance? In that regard, the gates are closed before us. We begin with prayer, we knock with petitioning, we give forth our voice with song and praise, and we speak with metaphor and logic. We stand attentive at the doors—perhaps they will be opened a hairsbreadth, and all of our mouths will be filled with a flood of speech and all of our tongues will become like streaming rivers, streaming currents of honey and butter.

When I Yearn to Speak a Word

When I yearn to speak a word, the supernal spirituality has already descended from the height of the concealed place of its power, until it has come to knock at the strings of my will. The great populace of the roots of souls has taken form, the very beginnings of hidden things, and become letters that knock at the lowest aspect of my soul, the aspect that is close to the content of the body and connected to its centrality. And I am forced to speak. I speak from the midst of my treasury of life and the words flow, the ideas multiply, the chimes spread forth. And voice meets voice.

Words and Letters

I feel how words and letters are taken from a high and elevated place, from the source of life, how they are filled with life and how they add strength and life to the world. However, I also sense how little I feel because of the barrier caused by being outside the Land, for the light of the land of Israel is of a different quality, beautiful and uplifted, and also because of how much sin diminishes this illumination of a sensitivity to the light and of the fundamental life and holiness within the words and the letters as they are pronounced, and how every aspect of repentance opens the conduits of that good light.

The Value of Speech

The value of speech grows ever more clear to me. Speech comes forth from its exile, it appears in the value of elevated holiness, and in accord with the degree of its appearance and revelation does the power of prayer and blessing rise. The light of a sanctified will appears when prayer is illumined, and the spirit of might pulses, the greatness of piety is revealed, fears flee, repentance is elevated and grows more splendid than any strength and might. The glory of the light of holiness pulses and the illumination of the radiance of the land of Israel is again crowned in the depths of the soul, in order to elevate all who have fallen and to strengthen all who have stumbled.

Singer of the Song of Infinity

My Thoughts Are Broader Than The Sea

My thoughts are broader than the sea. I cannot express them in prose. Not out of any self-aggrandizement, I must be a poet—but a poet in free verse. I cannot be tied to the chains of meter and stanza. I flee simple prose because of the heaviness within it, because it is so constricted, and I cannot enter other constrictions, which are perhaps even greater and more oppressive than the oppression of prose, which I flee.

My Creativity Flows Like Wellsprings

My creativity flows like wellsprings of water, raises waves, is in a constant ferment, pouring forth streams, founts of water. The princeliness of my soul within me is constantly alive and active. My perspective, filled with holy light, grows ever broader. Behold, I am summoned for strength and for might, and to fortify and strengthen the heart of all who are faint. My prayer proceeds from the source of my soul. It is great and filled with the pride of Hashem.

Creativity

The heart yearns to create, to create without cessation, to create with an ongoing flow, because that is the nature of the soul: to flow like a river. And what interferes? Preparatory phases, points of view, ideas, the approval of others. All of these are incidentals, which can by no means block the racing of the spirit. More than that, the spirit at the zenith of its waves can in no way be stopped, particularly by such matters, so as to be required to base its activity on them. It must create: it must move its own storms, impel its own suns and stars, which bear the entire world, and which demand movement that is constant, swift racing, without cease, with nothing able to block them and stop them.

Fine Pearls from the Treasure House of the Soul

My heart yearns within me for all of those lofty thoughts, hidden within my heart, which I have not taken out of concealment into revelation. Are they not fine pearls from the treasure house of the soul, of much greater value than any original ideas and philosophical musings artificially constructed by intellectual toil and mental effort?

Rivers of Truth

It is possible that if I write for myself and about myself, there will be revealed to me rivers of truth much more pure and deep than anything than I can think of with the goal of revealing truth and new insight.

Wellspring of Holiness

The Highest Longing In Life

I understand how the highest longing in life is for the most complete perfection of the soul. The Jewish perfection of the soul has a supernal power and a great will, and it is aware of its own great power. And the soul knows that it will unite with the light of Hashem when all of its life is brought to fruition by means of the Torah and mitzvot. Thus it loves mitzvot beyond measure. And so I feel my love for the mitzvot, and my inner joy in them, greater than all else.

Great Rivers Cascade

Great rivers cascade in my heart. Great, expansive wellsprings are opened before me. The Torah, the mitzvahs and their lights shine their splendid rays upon me. Fortunate is my portion, for a great faith, the faith in God the Life of the worlds, God the Deity of Israel, the Deity of the world, Hashem is my portion and the allotment of my inheritance, my fate and my cup, my salvation and my desire. Everything appears before me in a whole and gleaming system.

I Am Filled With Joy

I am filled with joy. I am filled with greatness, filled with humility, filled with bitterness, filled with pleasantness, filled with delight, filled with love, filled with zealousness, filled with anger, filled with kindness, filled with goodness for everyone. Fortunate is the person who can hear me. Fortunate is the person who can appreciate my inner worth, which comes from my unique beloved nature. He will be uplifted. He will be elevated. He will be exalted beyond all poverty. He will be sanctified and purified. Hashem God will be with him.

Torah For Its Own Sake

Torah for its own sake, for the sake of the Torah, means that it is for the sake of drawing forth the light from the source of Torah. That is the living, universal light in which all good is contained. And we do so for the sake of all Israel, for the sake of increasing the illumination of the entirety of the Congregation of Israel in the very core of existence, in the universal image all being. We do so for all created beings, to make all formed and created beings happy and strong, with a supernal, divine might. We do so in order to embrace them in holiness, to illumine them with the light of the living King.

I Must Believe

I must believe a very great deal in my aspect of good, in my core of holiness, in the wellspring of wisdom that the Holy One, blessed be He, pours down upon me via the holiness of the light of Torah that is relevant to me, with the power of the deep emotion of holiness and of my love of people and love of the Jewish people, of my connection to the love of the world-to-come, for spiritual life within myself. But all of this utter truth cannot cause me to forget in the least my lowliness and my poverty, my insignificance and my coarseness, my worthlessness, my broken heart, my contempt for myself, my disgrace, my shame and my abashment.

The Soul of the World Is Radiant

The Soul of the world is radiant, filled with splendor and brilliance, filled with life, secret treasuries of souls, storehouses of divine inspiration, wellsprings of might, greatness and harmony. Behold, I am elevated with pride to the heights of the Soul of worlds, the Life of worlds. How wonderful is the vision. Come, take pleasure. Come, be suffused with contentment. Grow ever more refined with refined matters. "Taste and see that Hashem is good."

I Take Heed

What Do I See In A Vision?

What do I see in a vision? I see the supernal thought, the thought that encompasses everything, the thought in which the entire force and fullness of everything resides. I see that all of the great torrents pour forth from it. And from the great torrents come rivers. And from the rivers come streams. And from the streams come freshets. And from the freshets flow rivulets. And these rivulets are also divided into small conduits. And these conduits are divided into a multitude, thousands, tens of thousands, countless tendrils—pouring forth love, life and thought. Sometimes there is too narrow a space to allow the soul to swim amongst the tendrils. The soul is then grasped by the roots of those fine tendrils: the conduits. And if the conduit too is narrow, the soul is grasped by the rivulet. And if the rivulet is narrow for it, it is grasped by the freshet. And if the freshet is narrow, it is grasped by the stream. And if the stream is narrow, it is grasped by the river. And if the river constrains it, it is grasped by the divine torrent, filled with water, connected to the boundless thought, the place of broad channels.

I See How Souls Blossom

I see how souls blossom, how life is revealed. From the supernal treasure house, lights appear, streams of radiance, a supernal glow descends like golden threads. It shines from the place of concealment onto that unique center where the conditions of life and of growth are prepared for those souls. And below, out of the thick cloud of chaos, bubble up the rescued shards, taken hold of by the conditions of life and growth to rise to the heights of existence. And in the center they will meet and become a living soul. So blossoms and flowers the garden of life of every living being, and man in his glorious beauty.

I See Souls in Their Greatness

I see souls in their greatness and in their smallness—how they stand in the fullness of their character, filled with light, with glory and eternal splendor, and how they are small, dim and dark, dusky and weak, and how they are redeemed from destruction by means of an illumination of supernal kindness of a great and mighty power that is aroused by the prayer of those who are straight, which fills the entire world with the dew of life and blessing.

A World Filled With Old Souls

I see a world filled with old souls, souls within bodies, souls to which the lees of the body cling, which do not completely soar, which do not supernally hover, transcend all flesh and physicality with complete sovereignty over the body and all of the characteristics of the body. That great treasure house filled with souls within the body must be emptied out. All of those souls that do not rest upon a body, that do not encompass it, camp around it, shine upon it from all sides and use it for purposes of action and the concentration of a life of deeds in its constricted sense must come to an end. They must fulfill their unique character, achieve their physical purpose and then rise above it. After that, a new light will appear, a new treasure house of life filled with freshness, new souls filled with the phenomenon of a lofty life, an eternal sovereignty that blossoms upward.

To Know Each of Your Secrets

It is Not for Nothing

It is not for nothing that the God of all spirits has planted within me the constant desire for everything concealed, for everything eminent and exalted, and not for nothing did He bring me to the land of Israel, and not for nothing did He fashion within me a stalwart spirit and an inner purity. Even though I am surrounded by numberless weaknesses and impediments, a great many, more than all the masses and all unexceptional people committed to the Torah, and perhaps even more than all elevated personalities with refined spirits who sense the whispers of the soul. All of these have been planted within me so that I will use them to illuminate the world, to fashion a literature filled with the light of the secrets of Torah, popular and accessible to all, filled with poetry and might, supplied with proper acumen and reliable analysis, to raise the horn of the nation of God and for the sake of the redemption of the world that has begun to shine in the land of Israel.

I Must Make An Accounting With My Spirit

I must make an accounting with my spirit: why do I specifically desire spiritual matters and godly concepts? If I would find within myself that this is due to arrogance or due to a desire to escape the responsibilities of this-worldly engagements, I would need to restrain myself and crush my exalted yearning. But when it grows clear to me—from the past to this moment—that my spiritual yearning is a true yearning, and that if I fail to fulfill it I do not gain anything in any other matters, I am bound to guard this task that the God of spirits has apportioned to me and soar in the chambers of the spirit and supernal conceptions of holiness, as far as I am able.

I Yearn For Mystical Secrets

And as for the fact that I yearn for mystical secrets—does that have in it anything of hypocrisy of falsehood? Rather, a fire burns within me in longing for the hidden. And if I had not limited the natural tendency of my spirit to turn to different paths, then I would truly rise, and my visionary power would grow stronger and rise for the good of all who yearn for feeling and thought in the world.

When I Sit In Darkness, Hashem Is My Light

Being by nature a person of aggadah and of mysticism, I have no need to look with envy upon the portions of halachah and the revealed Torah. Nevertheless, I am also summoned and obligated to learn those areas of the Torah, for it is not without cause that Hashem graced me with ability to study them as well. But I must know my measure, so that I will not grow depressed regarding the slightness of my portion in revealed matters. I must remain firm, because the cause of this imperfection of mine is that a multiplicity of areas constantly draws me in every direction, so it is my nature to taste a little of each matter. "When I sit in darkness, Hashem is my light."

One May Not Withhold The Mystical Imagination

One may not withhold the mystical imagination, which is the secret of creation. Mystical thought causes new souls to sprout, redeemed souls, souls that redeem, messianic souls. Within this secret of secrets, the hidden and the revealed unite. From the concealed source, the revealed and exposed are blessed; all of the cultures of society are blessed from the source of straightness hidden within the depths of the secrets. And I—behold, I yearn for the blossoming from Hashem, for the light of salvation to appear.

Depression And Joy

There is a depression that comes from spiritual wealth, and there is a joy that comes from a poverty of mind. Spiritual phenomena overwhelm me. Visions of visions come before my spiritual eyes. I gaze into books, into the holiest and most elevated books, and their wellsprings are alive and pour forth. They cause many wellsprings to flow with their primal power into my inner spirit. And with each vision an inner commotion is born. I ask myself: Where does all this come from? The beginning of the vision and its certainty—where is that drawn from? And with this self-questioning, my soul suffers in its sadness as it contemplates this joy of its wealth. But this sadness is good, for it refines the spirit, sharpens the mind and moistens the richness of spiritual life.

Great Is My Desire

Great is My Desire

Great is my desire to ally the spiritual Torah with the Torah of deed. In earlier days, in the days of the prophets, certainly these two Torahs were completely allied, as well as in the days of the Tannaim and the Amoraim. And the development of the Talmud Yerushalmi is certainly in the form of the unification of these two parts of the Torah. Indeed, the sealing of the Talmud Bavli came to make it possible for the light of the Torah to shine as well in the areas of darkness. And the time demands that the phenomenon is now brought back to its forcefulness.

All Streams

It is very difficult for me to deal with halachic matters only or with aggadic matters only, with revealed matters only or with hidden matters only. Similarly, it is difficult for me to turn my thought to a path of simple faith only, or to a path of philosophy and logic only. And the same applies to self-isolation and of friendship and community only. All streams are regnant in me: faith and philosophy, nationalism and ethics, halachah and aggadah, the revealed and the hidden, analysis and song. I must absorb everything. And out of the oneness of supernal, elevated matters, I stride forward to truly cling to Hashem, to raise the holy light of the Congregation of Israel, in idea and in deed, to the Source of its vitality.

I Cannot Constrict Myself

I cannot constrict myself to one topic, to one matter, to one level and to one style, but I must draw from all styles, from all matters, from all levels, from all things. If I see one path that is good in my eyes, and I want to draw myself to it alone, I see afterwards how the other paths seek their purpose from me. I must dig and drink water from my well, the well of living waters, from the portion of the Torah within my soul, from the letter that is unique to me, this conduit through which all the letters of the Torah come to me, this content through which the entire world and all its affairs relate to me.

My Desire To Cling To God

I should not be ashamed or frightened of my desire to cling to God, which (thank God) is for me a permanent part of my nature, from the root of holiness within the soul. To the contrary, when I wish to hide away this holiness, I stray and fall. But I am again saved by the encouragement of my inner greatness, to know that I must soar beyond all details, and to cling always to the root of holiness of the Torah and of all the worlds. And I should not take note of any scorn, and Hashem will be with my mind and guard my foot from stumbling.

How Great Is My Inner Struggle

How great is my inner struggle. My heart is filled with an exalted and broad spiritual yearning. I want the divine felicity to constantly spread within my entire being—not because of the pleasure of that delight, but because this is how it should be, because this is the state of reality, because this is the substance of life. And I am always sighing, roaring from my inner essence with a great voice: give me the light of God, the delight of the living God and His play, the great appearance of the visitation of the palace of the King of the world, God, the God of my father, to Whose love I am dedicated with all my heart, the fear of Whom elevates me.

To Serve God

It is Not Entirely an Empty Matter

It is entirely not an empty matter that I feel within myself some connection to all the great levels that I read about the great tzaddikim, supernal holy masters, even though I am a poor and abject, at the nadir of contemptibility and complete nothingness.

To Engage In The Service of Hashem

I desire with a complete yearning and desire to engage in the service of Hashem, a supernal holy worship, completely beyond any law of nature. I wish to put into all of nature the desiring light of the yearning, which is a holy of holies, for the divine ideal. I unite with the entire Chapter of Song, with all of the singers—indeed, within all being—who rise in song and are elevated in song, and give glory and splendor to the beauty of the Life of worlds, blessed be He and blessed be His name.

I Cannot Deny Within Myself The Spirit

I cannot deny within myself the spirit that yearns to grasp the elevated service of raising the holy sparks within everything that comes into the circle of my activity—of all the physical necessities and all possessions that come into my contact with me and into my boundary. And that tranquility that comes to me, even because of a dim imagining of the holy form of this pure-hearted and holy work, fills me with strength and fortitude, that these things come to be rectified when the light of Torah and the worship of God are broadened in all aspects, as they branch outward.

Egotism

I hate egotism with an utter hatred. It is not awakened within me from the aspect of the essence of my character and nature. All of my aspects that are negative stand before me always deeply revealed. Only external states of being—mingling with people, the need to diminish the soul for the sake of the communal life needs of the masses, arouse the repulsive character of pride, which I must take some part of for the purpose of leading, and must sometimes use it to diminish the supernal light, when it grows too overwhelming for the weak body to receive. But it is in essence disgraceful. And the ugliness and falsehood within it are clearly recognizable to me.

Before You Shall I Pour Forth My Speech

Before You shall I pour forth my speech, Master of all worlds. Your greatness will not prevent me from coming close to You, for indeed Your greatness is Your humility, and they have no end—as is the case with all of Your traits. Neither will my awareness of my smallness and my nothingness prevent me from having the vigor to come close to You, the light of life and the source of good, for there is no end to the greatness that my heart will cause me to feel in that I am one of Your creations. And behold, with a trembling of the holy I come to You, my King. Save me. From all of my sins help me escape, and from all of my enemies deliver me.

To Return to God

I Have Been Waging an Internal War

It is some time that I have been waging an internal war, that a strong spirit forces me to speak about teshuvah, repentance. All of my thoughts are centered only on that. Repentance takes the greatest part of Torah and life, upon it are built all individual and communal hopes, it is a mitzvah that is on the one hand the easiest of all (a thought of repentance is already repentance) and on the other hand is the most difficult of all, for it has not yet been achieved in the world and in life. I find myself tending to speak and think constantly only about it.

Behold, I See

Behold, I see how sins stand as a wall against the clear divine light that shines with all its radiance on every soul, and how they darken and becloud the soul. Repentance, even that which is only contemplative, brings about a great emancipation. However, the soul comes to a complete redemption specifically when it brings into actuality the repentance that was in potential. But at any rate, since a person's thought is tied to holiness and to the desire for repentance, there is no cause for fear at all. Hashem will certainly conscript all the methods through which total repentance, which illumines all areas of darkness with the light of its vitality, is acquired.

My Heart Will Not Be Dismayed

My heart will not be dismayed by any depression in the world, because I know that this constitutes a sort of exposure of deficiency within my spirit on all its levels, in its individual aspect and in the aspect of its relationship with the world. These moments of depression identify for me the areas of grief that I have to rectify and fill with light—through action, perception, thought and internal imagery. All of these paths are fully open, for God's kindness is great.

In The End, My Hope Is Strong

In the end, my hope is strong that Hashem will make it possible for me to return to Him with a complete and whole repentance, with great love, and with a very lucid and clear mind.

Make It Possible For Me To Increase Goodness

Remove my disgrace, turn aside my worry, wipe away my sin, so that I will be able to pray before You with a shining countenance and engage in your mitzvot and in Your Torah with a holy joy—so that I will be able to give joy to Your creatures, to uplift and beautify those who fear You. Make it possible for me to increase goodness, lovingkindness and blessing in the world. Save me from all weakness, from all laxity and from every evil trait. Enlighten my eyes with the illumination of the joy of Your salvation.

My Love Is Great

I Desire The Good of All

My many flaws will not prevent me from helping others—for I desire to do good, and I desire the good of all; and I clearly desire to truly desire to be good. And my heart is filled with the holy fire of the friendship of the sweetness of the love of Israel and of the entire world, to raise everything to the Source of goodness. And this desire is a holy desire. And I must acknowledge its holiness.

Those Fallen Souls

Those fallen souls who have a connection with me make me stronger. I feel sorry for them, I desire their rectification, their good, their light and their salvation, and they, in the depth of their depression, feel life and their soul return. They thirst for the light of God and His goodness. They rejoice because there is someone who tells that they are good, someone who speaks on their behalf. And I know how very, very deeply the fire of God burns in the hearts of these fallen people, a wind blows from the heights, how much in the core of their souls they want to go on a path of light, on a path that is straight and good.

Great Is My Love For All Created Beings

Great is my love for all created beings, for all creation. Heaven forbid that I should put into my heart even a small splinter of hostility, of hatred toward others. I feel within my entire being my great love for all creatures—in particular for human beings and in more elevated measure for the children of Israel, and a number of degrees of holiness higher for those who fear Hashem, who keep the Torah and mitzvah—and that much more for those wise in learning. I do not desire the denigration of the honor of any human being. I want everyone to rise, everyone to gain honor, be elevated and glorified.

I Love All

I love all; I cannot but love all: all the nations. From my very depth, I want the glory of all, the perfection of all. My love to Israel burns more greatly and is deeper, but this inner desire spreads out in the force of its love to all. I have no need at all to force this feeling of love—it wells directly from the holy depth of Wisdom of the Godly soul.

To Love All

How much does my heart sigh to love all: all creatures, all beings, all of creation, all the multitude of the things of the Maker of everything, the roots of things, life, power, the rising glory, wisdom, understanding, knowledge, beauty, eternity and beauty, the fundament and the monarchy. How precious are Your friends, God, and how much does my heart desire to love all souls, and the beauty of the good things and finished things within them. How pleasant and sweet are the refined spirits of those of uplifted heart, of those profound thinkers, of those with holy yearning, of those who grasp the Torah, mighty in faith, heroes of the spirit, those who create expression and poetry, those who dedicate the holy, those who beautify life and the world.

Listen to Me, My People

Listen to me, my people. From the depth of my soul do I speak with you, from the depth of the soul of my soul, from the depth of the bond of life that binds me to all of you and all of you are bound to me; from the depths of that feeling that I experience as being deeper than all my feelings of life, that you, only you, only all of you, your entirety, all of your souls, all of your generations, only you are the content of my life. In you I live, in you, in the bloc that comprises all of you does my life have that character that is called life. Without you I have nothing. All hopes, all ideals, all the value of the worth of life, all of it I find within myself only with you.

The Merits Of The Jewish People

At the end of every holy Sabbath, Elijah sits beneath the Tree of Life and records the merits of the Jewish people. Therefore, it is proper for anyone who possesses a connection to the desire for the secrets of the Torah—even if that desire exists only in some imaginary fashion or is an emotion or some product of human intellect—that following each Sabbath, on Saturday night, he too emulate Elijah's deeds and engage in bringing to light the merits of the Jewish people. And he should recognize intellectually, and with a shining and clear insight, the holiness of the Jewish people and the preciousness of their qualities.

The Great Worth Of The Holy Nation

Who can properly evaluate the great worth of the holy nation at the end of the holy Sabbath? Who can properly praise the radiance of the exalted holiness of the Jewish soul, which was already elevated in the radiance of its beauty by the holiness of the holy day, the most beloved of all days? Who will gather the strength to sing about, describe and envisage the precious glory of the wondrous people, who rise to the heights of the world, who wear the sun as a necklace in its place, who fly to the heavens, who rise with the holiness of their desire to the heights of the canopy of the highest heavens?

Our Soul is Great, Strong And Mighty

Our soul is great, strong and mighty. It breaks walls of bronze, it bursts mountains and hills. It is infinitely broad, it must spread out. It is impossible for it to shrink. Over all our twelve million Jewish souls on all their levels, in all their ascents and descents, on all the hills that they have climbed and in all the valleys into which they have descended, in all the heights of the city where they stand at the very pinnacle, in all the burrows where they hid from the oppression of disgrace and shame, toil and affliction, in all of them, in all of them our soul spreads, it embraces them all, it revives and encourages them all, it returns them all to the site of the house of our life.

Birth Pangs of Redemption

A Lack of Faith

A lack of faith in my unique spiritual powers is the cause of the loss of a great spiritual wealth, which could have appeared in the world to illumine many horizons and to lift the value of life for many people, and in particular to refine the overall power of the national revival, which is coming into being in our days in the land of Israel in actuality, and outside the land in thought and in hope. I must oppose and overcome, with a constant spiritual awakening, this great obstruction, which causes my hands to be lowered.

The Great Uproar of the World

What is going on now in the world? If no one, and in particular no learned person, wishes to look at what is occurring in the world now, will I also not look? No! I am not enslaved to the majority. I walk upon my own path, upon the straight road. I look straight ahead; I look upon what I must see, without the slightest wavering out of weakness because of that great majority, which considers as guileless sincerity the fact that it seals its eyes to everything that is occurring. I am taken aback by these impermeable ears, which do not hear the great uproar of the world, an uproar that brings about new life, an uproar of revival, an uproar of redemption, an uproar of the renaissance of the world.

Jealousy on Behalf of the Holy

My constant sorrow is a jealousy on behalf of the holy. A penetrating pain pierces my soul when I see secular thoughts and secular hopes spread through the world, capture hearts, acquire adherents and grow actualized in deeds, whereas ideals of holiness and thoughts of holiness are left to lie like a stone that no one takes note of, with which no one bothers, which no one explains, expands upon, makes them attractive to the broad public, and gives them movement in actuality and in deed. This makes me ill and I suffer terrible spiritual pangs, which are my sufferings of love, and these lead me to call out proclamations on behalf of the revival of the holy and on behalf of the Flag of Jerusalem.

We Yearn To Be Filled With Greatness

Our goal is always directed not only to be redeemed from the narrow straits, not only to be healed of wounds and to be saved from sicknesses—no! A thirst to do away with the negative in itself depresses the spirit and does not give satisfaction to life. It is not for this that we were brought into being by the Creator, He who is good and does good, the compassionate Father, the Source of all lovingkindness, all love and all compassion. Rather, we yearn to be filled with greatness, great contentment in the soul, a fresh life filled with illumination in every corner to which we turn, Eden and infinite pleasure in every breath that we breathe, a never-sufficient youthfulness from the Source of the life of all worlds.

The Holiness Within Nature

Behold, I see with my own eyes the light of the life of Elijah rising. His power on behalf of his God grows ever more revealed. The holiness within nature breaks through its boundaries. It proceeds powerfully to unite with the holiness that transcends nature, with the holiness that wars against nature. We fought against nature and we emerged victorious. Nature had damaged us, dislodged our thighbone, but the sun has shone to heal us of our lameness. Judaism of the past, from Egypt until now, is one long war against nature, against the nature of the world, against the nature of humanity as a whole—even against the nature of the nation, and against the nature of every individual. We fought against nature in order to conquer it, in order to crush it within its house. It is subjugated before us.